The Bigger Picture Of University
- Lau
- Aug 17, 2018
- 5 min read
A Level Results day is always such an exciting day for so many people across the country, especially when University is the next chapter in life. Whether we live in a small countryside village or the big city, University is always something we look forward to; it’s a new place, there are new faces and it’s a fresh start. Yet, we cry and stress about achieving the best grades possible to get to this dreamy place we’ve pictured University to be, that often when we arrive, our imaginary idea slips away almost immediately.
I don’t mean to put a downer on University, that is not something I’m trying to achieve, but rather what I am going to try and do is pre-warn people of the whole picture. Tip #1: If and when you arrive at your new home, remember to take note of what and how you’re feeling the minute you arrive, especially if you are 18 and it is the first time you’ve moved away from home.
In August 2016, and after many many many tears leading up to Results Day, I secured a place at the University of Bristol to study History. I was so excited and proud of myself for getting into such a top-class University, that I basically ignored everything else and focused on the ideal Uni life I wanted for myself.
To begin with, I didn’t get my first-choice accommodation. Inevitably, I was a little disappointed. Tip #2: After a little sulk, remind yourself that you won’t know any different and you chose this second option for a reason, so it is time to make it your new home for the next year.
Once I arrived at Bristol and moved in, my flatmates were not what I was expecting. Unfortunately, Bristol Uni do not give you the option to find your flatmates beforehand; they simply allocate you a room on arrival and you meet the people once you move in. Some may prefer this method; however, I was extremely anxious and started thinking the worst-case scenario that none of them would be my kind of people and I wasn’t going to make friends. And with bad luck, it was this worst-case scenario that came true. I immediately felt suuuuper lonely once my parents had left. Tip #3: It is completely ok to cry your eyes out when your parents leave you in your new hometown (you are only 18 after all). From there, it all went downhill for me, and I knew this wasn’t going to be the fun and exciting experience I always hoped University was going to be. I decided to give it a few weeks to see if it was pure homesickness that was making me feel so secluded in this amazing city. But even this homesickness was out of character for me and I was so confused by it. I have always wanted to spread my wings and venture out into new places, and all I wanted at this time was to be at home with my family.
The loneliness wasn’t going away. I noticed a difference in myself, I wasn’t as happy, enthusiastic and sociable as I always knew myself to be. I cried most days, sobbing at the fact I worked so hard to get into this University and I was such a failure for not fitting in or connecting with people. Eventually, after 4 weeks of this feeling (which felt like several months), I decided to look into dropping out of Bristol University and perhaps transferring to Cardiff University. I saw a comfort in Cardiff Uni since some of my home friends went there after School and it is also only a 50-minute train journey home. However, Cardiff University had oversubscribed their History course that year and I was not able to enrol until September. This was a tough decision to make, I was either going to stay in Bristol and focus on my degree (even though I felt stupid compared to the rest of the highly intelligent students), or I was going to drop out, move home and consider going to Cardiff the following year. After many FaceTimes to my parents, a looong hard think to myself, I decided to leave Bristol and I moved back home almost immediately.
A year later, I am now in Cardiff University and feeling happier than ever. I’m doing a course I love, I’ve made a group of lovely friends and I have the most supportive boyfriend in the world (who is ironically from Bristol). What I’m trying to put across is that University is many things; it’s fun, thrilling, independence and a fresh beginning, but it can also be confusing, scary, overwhelming and a big big place. Tip #4: It is important to have both positive and negative connotations of University in mind before going, this way you can prepare yourself for any situation that life throws at you.
If you’re taking a year out, then that’s ok too. I was always against a gap year and wanted to carry out my studies consecutively. But there are things that my gap year taught me that nothing else in my life ever has. I learnt what it’s like to be a real adult for the very first time. I had a full-time job, I often had to make myself food if my parents were away, I had to manage my finances and many other things. These are things that school and teenage years just simply don’t teach you, but that’s fine because no one wants to grow up too quickly.
But if it is University you’re heading to in the next few weeks, firstly, be proud of yourself for making that bold decision, whether it’s half way across the country or a 20-minute drive away, it is such an incredible achievement and one that no one can take away from you. Secondly, do not ignore any feelings of loneliness and displacement – it’s the Universe’s way of telling you that you are not in the place you’re meant to be and there are greater things waiting for you elsewhere. Granted, the first couple of weeks will be very odd and strange not to see family and friends as often as before, initial homesickness is normal. Yet, if you stay in your room most days and nights, crying an unhealthy amount and not feeling like your normal self, it’s something a little more and you should listen to what your inner voice is trying to tell you.
On a final note, always do what feels natural to you, your happiness and mental state is the most important and precious thing in life so get yourself out of any situation that causes you tremendous upset.
Lauren xo
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